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Blog
 All For You by Me
A sparkle of my sorrow
Drips in this shattered memory
These broken promises you made
Made my heart bleed eternally
This love is a never ending story
A maze I have to walk through
Silent screams inside my head
I wish you could just be true
Take my hand and don't let go
Make this moment last forever
Taking in all this pain for you
Why can't we just stay together?
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| -New Layout- |
| 07.31.04 (6:55 pm) [edit] |
Yep it's a new layout.
Yes I know that blue and orange are opposite colors, that's what makes my blog special. Lol.
Some people think I just want attention that's why I was all actin depressed. But something happened, but you guys don't know what. [b]Jake[/b] and I talked on the phone, he made me feel a lot better and we made a deal. Eh, I'll keep the deal to myself. But anyways, I'm kinda okay now, I'm still trying to get over it, but I'm fine.
[b]Well here's a penguin thing, lol, I think it's funny.[/b]
[b]Here's a long story, but yeah, I like it.[/b]
Vague Emotions, by Sa-Chan
Prologue:
She hunched her shoulder and let out a small sigh. Her feelings had been hurt time and time again this week and she was losing it for her sure. She had failed her latest science test, been sent to the office for chewing gum, and now she had found out her boyfriend had taken another girl to prom. How could anything get worse?
She reclined slightly on the couch; punk rock was playing from two different stereos, both turned up as loud as they could be. For some reason noise had always soothed her. She could hear the faint ringing of the phone; it had been going on and on with it's annoying little tone for the last two hours...signaling to her that he was trying to call her again.
She didn't even bother to pick the phone up. What would be the point? He would only grovel, and whine; tell her how much he loved her, missed her...wished she had been there. He would deny that he had fooled around with the girl, he would call the three witnesses, that had seen him and his prom date kiss, liars. The conversation would end in an argument and one of them would hang up on the other...then the tears would start again.
She knew this was how it would end up. They argued so much. She wished they didn't, because deep down she really did love him, but lately she saw no real reason to be with him. He had once made her so happy. She thought back to their first real date. It had been after hours on the beach. She had just laid peacefully in his arms, staring up at the night sky and all her troubles had melted away.
How she longed with all her heart that those times would come back. She wanted so badly to pick up the phone and be comforted by those three words he would utter, 'I love you...'. Even if it was a lie, even if he was only saying that because he needed to be in a relationship and in some sick way he needed her...she wanted to hear him say those words more than anything...
The last song on the track ended leaving her all alone with the loud ringing of the telephone. She tried to block it out. Another memory came back to her. Valentine's day, it had been four days before they had begun going out...four days... She had been his Valentine, they had stayed up all night on the phone together, laughing and talking about nothing and yet everything all at once.
Over those next few days he had hinted heavily at how much he liked her; she had hinted back. Suddenly she let out a soft giggle, it had been the first laugh she had given in a long time. Another memory, the day he asked her out, February 18, she remembered his telling her that he had asked her two bestfriend's permission first. It had been so cute...so kind...
He had by far been her best boyfriend, and she loved him...she truly loved him. Her bestfriend had told her to give her boyfriend a break to talk to him and see what he had to say... Maybe he was right.
She grabbed the phone from the hook quickly.
"H-Hello?" Her voice was a soft quiver, she could hear the tears in her voice, but she tried to remain composed.
"I...didn't think you would pick up," His very voice made her heart leap slightly, and then drop to her stomach.
"I don't know why I did," she replied softly, yet dangerously.
"Don't listen to them...you have to understand...I would never hurt you..." His voice rang loud and clear, and for some reason the very words that were meant to help her...hurt her worse...
Chapter One:
He woke up, his forehead trickling with sweat. He gasped for breath. He was terrified and shaking. Soon his tears were mixed with his sweat. Tears...sweat that taste of salt. He was never going to recover was he?
It had been the nightmare before. She had come back for her revenge in his dreams. She haunted him...day and night. Why couldn't she just forgive him? He hadn't done anything wrong. He had not wronged her, and yet she would put it on her grave that he had... She hated him, but he had never stopped loving her.
He thought back to two months ago.
He had waited for her to pick up. He dialed her number over and over again. He had been crying out to the lord, he had abandoned so long ago, for his help. He wanted, no needed, to hear her voice. Hours went by, but he hadn't given up. Then the phone was finally lifted from the receiver.
[i]"H-Hello?" her voice had been so weak, he almost fell into hysterical sobs when he heard what he had done to the only person he had ever loved.
"I...didn't think you were going to pick up." he had replied, trying to stay strong, he had to get it together.
"I don't know why I did.." her voice remained as soft as an angels, but he could hear the seething hatred...the anger...the danger in it. It scared him...
"Don't listen to them...you have to understand...I would never hurt you..." he spoke louder, trying to get her to believe him by his voice if not by his previous actions.
Silence ensued afterwards...it had only been a couple of minutes of silence, but to him...it felt like hours.
"My friends...over you..." her voice was meek, and it was hard to understand what she said, but...he did.
He opened his mouth to reply, but then he heard the click of the phone. She had hung up on him... He spent the next two days calling over and over again, but her parents said the same thing.
[b]"She left...we don't know where she is; stop calling..."[/b][/i]
He sighed yet again, and sat up from his sweat covered bed. He need coffee. He threw on clothes in the dark, and snuck through the window of his room. There was a time when his parents wouldn't have minded his leaving early in the morning, but now was not the time. Ever since her disappearance...he had been different, he had hated himself...and the world...he had been so alone. That must be why they had sent him to psychiatrist after psychiatrist, but he knew...it would never help...He had lost the love his life.
Walking, he brooded silently until he came to the door of a local coffee shop, he swung it open, and walked in. A scowl was all that showed on his face, he was so weak on the inside, but on the outside he could put on a show at least. He went to the counter, and ordered three shots of espresso; after paying, he walked back to a table, and flopped down.
"Nothing like espresso in the morning..." he said with a sigh, and then a girl caught his eyes. Her hair was longer, and she had dyed it with streaks of red, but he could still see her beautiful blonde hair, and when she turned around he saw those beautiful blue eyes of hers...bluer than the ocean itself...
It was her. They stared at eachother. Both as if seeing a ghost, and then the girl walked away without a word.
Chapter Two:
She hadn't believed it when she saw him. She didn't want to believe it. Why had she come back... No, she knew why. She had to come back. She had to see her friend, her poor dying friend, but why...why did she have to run into him?
She tried to make herself believe he hadn't recognized her. That he didn't care. But she knew, deep down, that he had figured out it was her. Why hadn't she left sooner when she saw him. Why had she just stopped, and stared. Why of all times when she went to get coffee did he have to be there?
She was furious, she was hysterical, she was near tears, and she was scared. What if he told her parents she was back in town? What if...what if...what if... So many things ran through her head. She didn't know if she could take this stress. Maybe she should just leave. Mail her friend some flowers. No..she had to see her friend...
"Elise!" She heard her name, it was his voice.
She wanted to stop, to talk, to be held by him. The last two months had been so hard on her spirit. She wanted him to tell her everything was okay, that he loved her. But she knew she couldn't, because she still wanted to hate him. Just because she wanted to hate him...didn't mean she didn't still love him though.
She wouldn't turn around, she wouldn't stop walking, in fact she picked up the pace. She had to get out. She had to move. She could feel the tears that had been threatening to spill for the last two months while she had been on her own. She wouldn't let them though.
"Elise...please...please stop..." Again, he was calling to her, begging for her, but she couldn't listen...she wouldn't listen...
Suddenly she felt a hand grip on her shoulder. She tried to keep moving, but the person's grip was to strong. She stood their, refusing to turn around, refusing to show the person who she wanted to hate most in the world her tears.
"Lucien...let go of me..." was her soft reply.
"No..I already had to let go of you once...never again..." As he spoke he loosened his grip, and she was able to push away from him.
By now it had started to rain, and she ran...and she ran...as the cold rain mixed with her long over-due tears. She didn't stop until she was shaking, and sobbing hysterically, and utterly lost...literally and mentally...
She slumped down in an abandoned alleyway and let the rain and the tears surround her. Let them smother her, as she fell away into her subconcious...into her bottled up thoughts....Tears consumed her being...
Chapter Three:
"Goddammit!" He cried out.
He had followed her, had touched her, smelled her scent. He had been so close to her, then he had lost her. He cried out, he had lost her...twice in one lifetime. He slammed his fist against the brick wall of the alleyway he had chased her to.
Once he pulled his hand back, he stared at his knuckles. Bloodied, with bits of brick shoved into his flesh. At any other time he would have cried out from pain, but it didn't hurt...he was to numb for it to hurt. He wanted to sink down into the puddles of muddy water and die. Fall away and die...
He loved her so much. She was the only reason he hadn't gone off to college when most of his good friends had. He had always hoped she would come back, come back for him. Then, the one day he finds her...she slips through his fingertips.
He screamed in rage, and pounded his fist over and over and over again, into the hard brick wall. He broke his knuckles, and scarred up his hand so badly that it would never heal. Still, all pain aside, he continued beating his fist into the wall. The pain took all the emotions away, he thought, he hoped...but it didn't, and as he hit over and over again, the tears escaped.
Then he heard a high-pitched scream. What the hell had that been? He looked around; another scream. He followed after the sound, and walked, down the alley, to the left, down another alleyway, and found himself in the midst of a gang rape.
There were three strong guys, one of which, the leader, had a young, blond-haired, tall, thin girl up against the wall. Elise... She was crying out in pain, as the presumed leader of the gang had his way with her. Ripping her clothes from her body, beating her, making her scream out in pain.
Rage took over his body. No one would hurt her. No one would hurt the girl he loved, no one would lay a hand on her ever again. He rushed at the man. He wasn't that big, or even that strong but he was running off anger, hatred, rage, need to protect her.
He shoved the man, the thug up against the wall. He hadn't even realized but he had pulled the switchblade he always had in his pocket out. He slammed the man's head against the brick wall. He could hear the awful crack of the skull. Looking into the thug's eyes as they began to film over, as the thug lost conciousness, he realized what he had to do...
"Never..." He barely even recognized his own voice, "You will never...touch her again...never..."
His words said he shoved the switchblade deep into the man's stomach. Blood gurgled from his mouth, and as Lucien let him go, he slid down the wall, and fell, his blood mixing with the water, puddling around him.
He backed away, fear showing in his eyes. He heard the other two thugs run off, leaving Elise to fall back on the ground. He ran to her, took her limp, and bruised; raped, and sodomized body into his arms and held her close, tears stinging at his eyes. He had killed a man...but he had saved her...
He picked her up in his arms, and walked down the streets of the town with a half nude, young woman in his arms. Rain dripped down around them, wetting their clothes and hair, blood covered them both, most of it...not even their own...
Chapter Four:
She had been vaguely aware of the pain, of the fear running through her body. Somehow, miraculously, she had been able to lock her mind away as the act of the rape went on. Then she realized, through clouded lids, a boy...no...a man-child. He was so familiar...so...friendly looking, even as he charged the man who had her to the wall, even as he beat the life of the man, shoved the blade into the man, as he stared at blood seeping from the wound.
She wasn't afraid even as he drew closer to her. She was already on the ground, and he had kneeled before her. Pulling her wet, raged body near to his own. Before losing complete conciousness she recalled smelling his scent. Mixed with the smell of blood, and death, and rain he smelled familiar...sweet...but manly like a fine wine...a cologne that not many young men would wear, it had been a scent she had long since tried to forget, but as she smelled it for the first time in ages...she smiled...and fell away from her body.
She wasn't sure how long she slept. She didn't really care. As she woke up thoughts clouded her mind, why did her body hurt so terribly, who had been the man to take her into his arms, where was she? Groaning from the pain of her bruised and battered body she rose up on the bed, looking around for any sign of familiarity.
The walls were an odd, earthy color; painted to match the red-brown, tender earth. She was laying on a plain bed with white sheets, and there was a desk in front of her littered with papers, pens, a computer, books, and video games. On the floor there was a small TV, and connected to it was a video-game console that she identified to be a PS2. Clothes littered the floor; male clothing.
A small window was in the corner; it was opened, allowing fresh air and the warm rays of the sun in. She closed her eyes, and relaxed, briefly forgetting the pain coursing through her wounded body, vaguely forgetting the emotional pain she was enduring. This was the first time she had truly rested since arriving in her hometown.
Wait! She remembered now! She was in her hometown; she had come to see an ill friend, and then encountered Lucien. Upon running from him she had backed herself into an alley and been attacked by a local gang, then they had raped her, taken advantage of her, beat her...sodomized her...put her through pain that she couldn't believe she had physically been able to survive.
She knew that the thugs would have killed her after they were done with her. But...something had stopped them...a single young-man, who smelled of an oddly familiar cologne...Lucien. He had killed one of her attackers. He had shoved a switchblade through the man's stomach. She grimaced inwardly, remembering it. Then he had walked to her and taken her into his arms. Had he...had he carried her all the way through the rain to this place?
Suddenly the door opened, letting in a luscious smell of breakfast foods. Pancakes, and sausage; bacon and eggs, as well as many other foods. A young girl, who in appearance, seemed to be merely three or four years older than herself opened the door.
"Ah! You're awake," the young woman said with a smile, surveying the pretty face of her new charge, "I'm surprised...I didn't think you would awaken until Lucien came back."
Her eyes widened, and she struggled from her bed in tears. No! Not Lucien! No...no...no... She wouldn't see him again! She wouldn't see that heart-breaking, murdersome bastard ever again! She hated him. She thrashed at the walls, her legs now twisted in blankets. She was weakened, and she could barely talk as the spit matted the inside of her throat.
"Now, now. You shouldn't act that way. I know you and Lucien have a bad past, but he carried you all the way here...he saved you, and brought you to me," The girl continued, "I'm surprised you don't recognize me...then again I barely recognize you, due to your...bizarre hair... But those are the same eyes my brother fell in love with. He always said they were bluer than the ocean itself."
She blinked softly. What was this girl rambling on about? Then she recalled something! She had forgotten Lucien had an older sister. So, apparently Claire, if she was remembering her name correctly, had moved away from her parents. Which meant this was Lucien's room at her house.
"Anyways, I should reintroduce myself. My name is Claire, I'm Lucien's older sister," She said with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, "You know...you shouldn't be so cruel to Lucien...he still loves you, you know."
At those words, "[i]he still loves you[/i]", she couldn't breathe. She grasped at her chest, and cried out. Those had been the words she had always, secretly, longed to hear. Now though, it hurt worse than not hearing them. Now...how could she keep the fire to her imaginary hate for him, kindled. He had saved her...he had killed a man for her...he still loved her...and all of this...scared her more than anything else.
Chapter Five:
He stared at his hands. He'd hardly been able to breath since he'd knocked on the door of his sister's apartment. He closed his eyes, remembering the look on Claire's face as she saw his blood-stained clothes, and the unconcious, thin girl in his arms. Still, his sister had always been his favorite family member, she had taken Elise in and promised to take care of her until he was able to return.
He sighed, and layed back on his bed, his hands stretched out in front of his face. Once he had snuck back into his house he had scrubbed his hands raw, and trashed his clothes, but he could still see the blood...still smell it. He was a murderer, and not just that, he knew...deep down he knew, that if Elise ever needed it, he would kill again.
He closed his eyes, and could feel an odd smirk forming over his face. He was so screwed up...but she was back, and that was all that mattered. That one fact was what kept him running. He just hoped that she could one day forgive him for whatever he had done to her. He couldn't live with her hating him for the rest of his life, but then he realized...she had seen him kill...she had seen him kill, but she hadn't pulled away from him...
Thoughts continued to flood his mind, but somehow he was able to drift off into a hellish, and yet, all at once, heavenly dream. A dream where she would stay, where they would live together, and everything would be happy. Everything would be fine, up until the day that she was taken from him, forced from his arms. The gang would take their revenge, and he would lose her...all over again...
"NO!" he woke up, once more covered in sweat, he though that maybe...he would escape the dream, the nightmare, if he got her back, but it was back...and it was even more twisted than before, but only one thought ran through his head...he would not lose her again.
The next few days he spent much time at his sister's house, but not once did he dare to go into the room that Elise dwelled in. Strangely, he thought that this wuold be fine if it stayed that way forever. Just so long as she was vaguely near, he was happy. He thought that this was the way it would continue forever, with his just sitting on his sister's couch, staring at his hands. Fate, however, had a different idea.
He had needed to see her face, and had chanced a peek into his old room, which Claire now referred to as "Elise's Room". It was well past midnight, he thought that Elise would be asleep. Seeing her, laying there, peacefully, her features given a silver hue from the soft light of the full moon made his heart race. He took a small step closer.
Before he knew it, he had her in his arms, his cheek to her. His breath blew softly into her ear, as he whispered sweet nothings to her. Then he could feel her body tremble in his arms, a small yawn emit from her lips. He pulled away, and found himself staring into the eyes, the beautiful pools of blue. He stared at her, and she stared back, and he vaguely thought that maybe she didn't recall who he was.
He was startled when she threw her shivering body into his arms, and he pulled her close, and his lips were on hers, and he could feel her long, elegant fingers running through his soft black hair. As their kiss deepened he could almost forget...almost forget it all...almost forget the bad news he had to tell her...
Almost forget as their love was restored...but only almost...
Chapter Six:
She had found herself in his arms. His lips pressed to hers. She never thought she would forgive him. Never thought she would let him touch her again. She never would have believed she would allow herself to be openly intimate with him. Then again she never thought any of what had happened thus far, would happen, and it had...and it scared her, put her in a straight of turmoil, but also...comforted her. She felt so alive in his arms.
She pressed deeper into the kiss; her eyes were closed, this was a fairy-tale kiss, and she wasn't planning on letting go. One of his arms wrapped around her waist, and his other hand grazed softly against her cheek. Bliss...that was all she felt. She had longed for this for the last two months. His mouth on hers, his arms around her, their bodies meshed together...everything perfect...
She would have to thank Claire after this. Ever since that day Lucien had rescued her, Claire had explained things to her, told her how much Lucien cared for her, explained the whole situation that had torn them apart. Slowly, but surely, with Claire's help, her heart began to forgive Lucien.
It had come to where, unbeknownst to Lucien she would watch him. She would constantly wait for the day he would venture into her room. Now was that time, but even now, as they kissed, she could tell something was hurting him, something important. She started to pull back, she needed to inquire what trouble him, but he wouldn't let her go, he pulled her closer. It was then that she realized he was shaking as she stroked her cheek softly.
After all that had happened to them thus far, she knew that so much more was to come. This kiss was what, for the moment, held them together, kept them from breaking down in tears in one anothers arms. And so they held eachother, and kissed, and touched, and just genuinely loved one another, without words, until the sun rose.
So much more was to come. She knew it, he knew it, but at least now...now they were together...now the dirty past could be put to rest as the future was taken into their hands...They would fight to stay together now...
Chapter Seven:
He finally pulled away from Elise, his eyes still gazing into hers, but fully acknowledging that another person was present. He broke the gaze with Elise, and turned to his sister Claire, who although was blushing a slight red color, smiled with complete joy, and clapped her hands.
"So...the lovers have finally come to realize they're lost without eachother?" she questioned.
He merely nodded in returned, but his eyes told Claire what he was thinking. He knew she could read him like a book. They weren't just siblings, they were friends, and had always shared a special bond. He knew what she was thinking, and she knew what he was thinking. [i]Do we tell her?[/i]
"Um...Elise," Claire's voice was timid for once, "Lucien and I have something to tell you."
His eyes darted about the room nervously as he felt Elise's hand tighten around his. Elise knew something was wrong, that was obvious. How was he to tell her what it was though? How serious it was? He looked at her, into her deep blue eyes, once again, and he could see the tears building up. He was scaring her.
"E-Elise..." He began, "Do you remember...what happened in the alley...thay day?"
"Y-yes..." her voice cracked as she spoke, and Claire walked to her and wrapped her in a tight hug.
"Do you remember the man I...killed...?" as he spoke he glanced down at his hands, and for a brief instant he saw the blood again, he relived the moment when he became a murdering, and it made him cringe.
Elise merely nodded this time. She knew what was going to be said next, she clinged to Claire, and buried her face in the nook of Claire's neck, crying insanely.
"He was part of a local gang...a...a very important gang. Liberi...is the name of the group...and the head of the gang...is a man named Vega..." his voice stuttered at the name. Elise and himself had always been very open between eachother before their fight, but he had always neglected to tell her one thing, and now was not the time to mention it, "He...he will seek his revenge on the both of us, Elise...and no matter where we run to...he will find us...and he will kill us...the both of us, because to him, his only family...are the members of his gang...he will destroy us...unless we fight back..."
He stood up, giving Claire a meaningful look, before walking out, his hands shoved in his pockets, head turned down. He couldn't bare to look at Elise now...not after this...hearing her cries was more than enough. He shut the door quietly behind him, and slammed his fist into the wall. Then, breaking down completely, he placed his face in his hands...and cried.
He heard the door open gently, and quiet footsteps tap against the wooden floor.
"Father will not have mercy on you...you know that...right...?" Claire's words would forever echo in his mind.
[b]In this chapter anything in italics is a flashback. [/b]
Chapter Eight:
She stood up from the bed. She was somewhat delirious, and fell into the wall. She was still crying, and still frightened. She had thought everything would be okay. That everything would work out. That now that she was with Lucien again...they could be happy.
She had thought, that they could make the dreams they had, had when they were small kids come back.
[i]She waited, sitting on the edge of a small pond, staring into the water at her reflection. God, she hated herself. She was a freak, a no one. She had brought it on herself...she knew this, but it still made her angry, still made her furious. She grabbed a stone from her side and hurled it into the water with rage.
Why the hell did she have to be the freak who's real mother had abandoned her like she was nothing!? Why the hell did she have to be stuck in a step-family full of perfect, law-abiding, tongue-biting citizens!? Why did her step-brother, Rilye, have to be so goddamn perfect, while she was nothing?
"WHY!?" she screamed without noticing, and buried her face in her hands.
All she had ever wanted was to be loved, to be cared for, to have everything that she never had. That was all she wanted...was she really asking to much. She looked once more into the water, and what she saw of her reflection...was a monster. That was why no one would love her, because she was a monster.
"That's all I am..." she whispered, as the water rippled, distorting her image, and she wiped desperately at the smudged, running make-up that had come with her tears.
Someone's hand clasped over her shoulder, and she jumped. Before she knew it she was turned to face a good-looking boy, who was slightly older in appearance than she. Of course, she knew who he was, the kid's name was Lucien, he was the most popular boy in town.
"Hey!" he said, a cute boyish smile forming at his lips, "You're Elise, right?"
She nodded slightly, unable to find her voice. This was the first time anyone had showed kindness, and friendliness towards her.
"Well, I'm Lucien! It's a pleasure to meet ya," he replied, and then suddenly, took her face in his hands, "You know...you're really pretty. You'll grow up into a beautiful woman and I swear you'll be mine! And we'll live in a house, with two kids, and a dog and cat!"
He then moved in, and ran his lips softly over hers. She blinked, and fell back. Her first kiss!? Had she just received her first kiss from him?
"Oh, don't worry," he said, reaching a hand down to help her up, "Kissing takes awhile to get used to!"[/i]
She smiled a bit, that memory had cheered her up at least. She walked out, gathering all her strength, and went to Lucien. Taking his face in her hands she kissed him.
"Don't worry...we'll have all the time in the world to get used to it..." she whispered, "We'll fight...if we have to."
Chapter Nine:
He had been slightly relaxed by her kiss, by her words.
[i]"Don't worry...we'll have all the time in the world to get used to it."[/i]
He nodded slightly, and took her into his arms. He held her close, and smiled, resting his head on the top of hers. She smelled good, was one thought that came to mind. Like fresh fruit, she smelled girly, but...with a hint of sexiness. They would have all the time in the world to be together...all the time in the world.
Chapter 10:
Elise walked out of her room. She knew he would be gone. It was no surprise really. She had known this was his intent from the very beginning. That's exactly the reason she had watched him from her window. Now she knew which direction she was heading in. She knew Claire would help her if she asked, but she didn't want to endanger her new friend.
She walked to the living room. There sitting on the coffee table was a note. She picked it up tenderly. It was written in his writing. She smiled a bit, his writing had always been so much prettier than her own. She let her eyes trail over the message, reading quickly, but still taking it all in.
[i]To My Love,
I know this is wrong of me to do. Leaving you here. But I'm leaving to save you. I know I won't come back alive. So...the only time to clear this up is now. I have always loved you, I just wanted to tell you that. It was because of this love that I kept certain aspects of my life secret from you. I was always trying to protect you. The whole prom incident. Let's go ahead and get this completely aside. I'd like you to know this. I didn't even go to prom. I was with my father, and his...co-worker, Valeria on the night of prom. I didn't stick up for myself because I didn't want to claim my father, I didn't want to tell you that he was trying to force me into his local gang that night. His gang, you may be thinking? He is the leader of the notorious Liberi Mafia. Yes, that's right, the very men who raped you, the very man I killed worked for my father. I knew of it all along. I am the son of Vega Liberi, I am...Lucien Liberi. I never told you, because I was afraid you would never accept me again...and I...love you to much to ever feel hated by you...Now, I realize had I just told you, none of this would have happened. We'd both be safe now...We'd have the chance to be married, live in a shithole apartment, suffer to make a living for our children. We'd have all the fun and crazy times of two people very much in love. Even with my dying breath I will regret all of the secrets I kept from you...I will regret all of the lies...
I will never stop loving you,
Lucien Liberi[/i]
She crumpled the note in her hand, and walked from Claire's crowded apartment into the cold rain. She smiled. The rain it seemed...engulfed their love. With the rain they would be saved. She dropped the letter into a puddle of dirty water, and watched as the black ink colored the water.
She held her head up high. Even if she died, she would die with no regrets. She had lived, she had love, and she would gladly die in the arms of her lover, but she didn't plan on either of them dying. Taking one step at a time she headed off in the direction she had last seen her lover wander towards.
She knew around the location of the gang's hideout. Who didn't know, after all? The Liberi group had been in this town from the beginning. The Liberi family was the reason for most of the pain and death in this town, as well. Poor Lucien. Had she only known that he had it even worse than her. Had she only not been so selfish.
"No..." she whispered, a raindrop catching on her small, pale lips.
She wouldn't regret anything. She was no longer living for the past. Everything she had done wrong then, she planned to make right now. She would save him, even if it meant killing the whole gang with her bare hands. He had always been there for her, he had always helped her...this was her chance to help him.
With full confidence...Elise embarked on what would be the final fight seperating her from her love. She knew, without any doubt in her mind, that she...no, they...would be victorious, because love and hope wins against all.
"I've...decided," he said, "I am going to see my fa-I mean...Vega."
He scolded himself. He had almost let it slip. Almost told his secret. His secret that must be hidden forever. If he told, she would never love him again, never accept him. How could he tell her that the man who wanted them both dead was actually his father? That the men who raped her had worked for a man that held his own flesh and blood. He couldn't tell her, he wouldn't tell her.
"No!" Elise screamed, their peaceful silence disrupted, "I-I won't let you go there...I won't let you go there alone. Please...please don't go, please don't go to die, Lucien. I...I beg of you! I love you...and we will go together, we will fight together, and if it cannot be helped...we will die together!"
He opened his mouth to talk, but he knew it was pointless. He closed his eyes, blinking back his tears. He had to lie to her. He had too...to save her, he had to lie. This was all he could do. He was doing it for them. For their love. If one of them had to die, it would be himself, so she could live on.
"You're right..." he said, his voice calm, "We will go together...tomorrow...will you...will you be ready?"
Elise nodded, and walked into her room. Good, she needed her rest. He turned to Claire, her eyes were shining with tears. She ran to him, and took him into her arms, cradling him, the young man that he was, like he was a child.
"You're going away...aren't you? You're leaving to die?" Claire said, a single tear rolling down her cheek, and then she pushed him away roughly, "I will not mourn for you...and I will advise Elise to do the same..."
"I know you will mourn for me, Claire...I know you're just trying to be strong, and that's good. Continue to be strong Claire, never stop being strong. Be strong for yourself, and please...take care of Elise...for me...as my final request, sister?" he said, and for the first time in a long time, he was just a little boy, asking his sister for a favor.
He walked away now, and taking a piece of paper and pen from a coffee table in the living room began to write a note. A note that would explain everything to Elise. She deserved to know everything...
He then stood, and began his walk...knowing in all entirety, he was walking himself to his own grave.
Chapter Eleven:
Lucien opened his eyes. The world was spinning. What had happened? One moment he was being ushered in to meet his father. The next he was laying on a cold, stone floor. He sat up, immense pain rushed to his head. He cried out, and ran his hand along the back of his head...there was an awful knot there. Well, one thing was now explained. He'd been hit.
He looked around, and sighed. There were bars blocking him into a small area. So, he was in the Liberi Family's personal dungeon. He rolled his eyes. He always thought it was so crude to have a personal dungeon in this day in time. He layed back, and stared at the dungeon ceiling. Nothing but stone.
He decided to keep his mouth shut. For one, no one was around, and secondly, they couldn't keep him in here forever. After all, he was the heir to this place. They would either kill him, or induce him into the mafia. He was hoping for the first option, or his own third option. Where they all met there terrible fate for all the wrongs they had committed.
He breathed in through his nose, and immediately started coughing. That strong scent, musky, but very bad smelling. Valeria, with her over-priced, terrible smelling perfume, was nearby. Great. Just what he needed at this time. He closed his eyes. The best thing to do right now was to play it cool. He would show no emotion. He would mention nothing of Elise. If they found out she was still here...she would be their next target.
"Hello, love." A thick, extremely womanly voice drawled.
"You only wish," he said, snorting back laughter.
"Tough words for someone in these circumstances, Lucien." Valeria's voice was sharp as she said his name.
He watched her walk to the bars, and reach out to touch his face tenderly. He caught her by the wrist before she could touch him. God, her perfume smelled even worse up close. He surveyed her. Well, she was still hiding her age well. She had to be near forty by now, but she looked at least twenty-five.
Valeria was what most men would describe as one of the most beautiful women alive. Her long, black hair fell into soft curls framing her thin, well-defined face; her eyes were naturally a violet color; her body was thin, but very atheletic looking. She might have been pretty, even to Lucien, if she didn't cover her face in that muck called make-up, it clouded natural beauty just to make her look younger. To Lucien though, she was nothing, she would NEVER be as beautiful as his Elise.
"Well," Valeria began, her voice caught for a moment in her throat, "I suppose you won't be willing to side with us will you...? All because of that stupid, little girlfriend of yours? You do know, this means you die."
"Hmph...don't call her stupid, or I swear..." Lucien replied, his eyes trained on the gun that Valeria now had, pointing through the bars, aimed straight at his forehead.
"You swear what, Lucien?"
That was odd, the voice sounded so familiar, so angelic. It definately wasn't the voice of Valeria. He only contemplated this for a moment, but once he opened his eyes, he saw Valeria had dropped to her knees, and with one final gasping noise, fell face-first into the hard, stone ground. He looked up from the body, and saw Elise. She was beautiful, her clothes and hair were dripping wet. So, she had followed him through the rain. Then he noticed a gun gripped in her shaking hand.
"Is...she dead?" Lucien whispered, taken back by what Elise had done.
Elise simply nodded, and dropped to the ground, shaking hysterically. Lucien was able to pull Valeria's dead body closer to the bars. He found the keys to his cell hanging around her neck. Ugh, his hands were covered in blood now. He tugged the chain, breaking it off her neck. He stood and quickly unlocked the door.
He walked to Elise, and held his hand out for her. She took it, and stood, still shaking. He wrapped his arms around her, and whispered soothing words into her ear, before pulling back and staring straight into her eyes.
"You saved my life..." He said.
"When you find someone you love...that you're not willing to let go...You fight, and you kill, and you live...all to be with them," She whispered, and suddenly smiled, "I love you, Lucien Liberi. No matter what your last name is, no matter how your family is. I will never stop loving you."
Chapter Twelve:
She and Lucien, both covered in Valeria’s blood, walked from the room. Hands clasped together, identical smiles on their face. They were smiling, they were murderers, but they were happy murderers, and they were together. One more obstacle, one more person to face; then it was over. Then everything would be fine.
They had left the gun behind. No point keeping it after all, and it wouldn’t have any hand prints on it; she had worn gloves because it had been so cold and rainy. Lucien led her through the cold, dank halls of the mafia’s joint. It was oddly relaxing, the lights were faint, and she had to strain her eyes to see anything.
She rested her head against his shoulder as they walked. His arm was now wrapped around her waist. It was odd, they were acting as if they weren’t walking straight to death’s door. Then again, even if they did die, they would die together. Dying in her lover’s arms; she smiled again, this was so romantic.
“I think we’ve lost our minds,” Lucien said, a laugh in his voice.
“Maybe we have,” her voice was soft, almost sleepy, “But you know, I think I like this insane side of us.”
“Yeah, we oughta do this more often. I mean, who wouldn’t love to live through this? Kill a few people, it takes out your anger.” Lucien said, and they both laughed.
I thought back to all the times we spent together. Everything would be fine. We would have those children Lucien wanted so badly; even though I had always claimed he would never get a child out of me. Things would be fine. We would wake up in the morning next to each other make breakfast, go to work, come home, make love, and then the cycle would start all over again. Everything would be perfect.
Yes, we were definitely losing it. I knew this because I had never thought of anything to be perfect before. That didn’t matter though. Things were going to be alright. She was confident about that, and as they walked through the door leading to Lucien’s father’s room, she simply smiled. She would be meeting the devil himself. What was so bad about that?
“Ah, if it isn’t Romeo and Juliet,” the voice of the man before them sounded.
She stared at him. Her voice caught in her throat. She hadn’t expected him to look so much like Lucien. He was an older, greyer, tougher looking version of Lucien. No, he was nothing like Lucien. All you had to do was look into his eyes to see that. Then again, you wouldn’t really want to, because all she saw when she looked…was pure evil. Evil brought on by years a murder, and evil deeds without reason.
“Hello, Father.” Lucien said, the word father seemed stressed. He must not have been used to saying that.
“So, my son and his whore have come to kill me?” was the only thing Vega said, while playing with a ring on his middle finger.
“No. We simply want to work this…ordeal we have out.” She spoke, blinking a bit. She didn’t want to kill again, not if it could be helped.
“This ‘ordeal’ as you call it, cannot be worked out. Either you die, or I die. That is the only way this will end, and children, don’t believe that good always overcomes evil.” He drew his gun from his belt.
This wasn’t how things had worked in my mind. He was supposed to give into us. We were supposed to win. Not him. He wouldn’t win. We would. Love would win. That’s how it was supposed to be. Those were the last thoughts that ran through my head as I felt the bullet enter my body. Pain…Love…Win…Lucie n.
“Never…give…up…
Epilogue:
The little five year-old girl stared at her mommy. She was wide-eyed, sitting cross-legged on the carpet. She smiled a bit; a smile that spread to her deep blue eyes. She had just finished listening to her mommy tell her favorite story.
“Mommy? Did that story really happen?” She said, giggling softly.
“Hmm…funny that you should ask that,” her mother looked at her, her eyes that daddy called ‘bluer than the ocean’ trained on her daughter, Elisabeth, “Some say it did, and other’s say it didn’t.”
“Whatever happened to the girl, mommy?” Elisabeth stared at her mother, anticipating the answer with childish innocence.
“Hmm,” her mother smiled a bit, “I suppose she died, but I’d like to think that she’s alive out there…with a beautiful daughter, living happily ever-after with her true love. Then again, maybe that’s just me.”
“Yeah, mommy! I bet that’s what happened. Of course she lived! Cause love is the strongest thing out there,” Elisabeth stood and walked from the room in giggles.
The young mother took to cleaning the living room. She sighed a bit, and wiped her eyes. The story always brought her to tears. She stared into the fire, and smiled a bit as a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, and held her close. She turned around in her husband’s arms, and pressed her lips to his.
“I told you…that we’d have forever to practice…” the woman said, after pulling away from the kiss.
“That you did, my love, that you did.” The tall, slender black haired man replied with a smile.
“Eweeeeeeee….Kissing is yucky!” Elisabeth’s voice rang out, and they both looked at each other and smiled.
-End
[u][b]Authors Note: ([b]Read! IT'S IMPORTANT[/b]) About the epilogue. It's written for you to decide how the story ended. You can either choose a.) Lucien was able to defeat his father and save Elise, and that Elisabeth is their daughter or b.) It was just a story and the two parents of Elisabeth were not Elise and Lucien or your own choice.[/b][/u]
I chose they died =P Cause it's better when you die with the one you love. And plus, they're gonna get arrested anyway cause they killed two people, well, one each.
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| Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome... |
| 07.31.04 (3:52 pm) [edit] |
Life sucks, bleh.
I'll probably not go to Vamp Shadows anymore, even if I can.
I might not go to college, might as well just stay with Jake in London.
[i]Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome..and I don't feel light..when your gone away..[/i]
Today is friendship day and I might just hide from everybody and go to that one place I love..
A poem I wrote:
[b]Unspoken Sorrow, by Me[/b]
As I stare at a reflection
I see a girl twisted in pain
No tears was shed
Wishing for her feelings to mend
The girl tries to fight back her tears
But I see her fears
The girl wanting back the past
But there is no going back
I see her grab a knife
As she ends her life
I just realized
That girl was me
I saw myself in sorrow
An unspoken sorrow
[i][b]Yeah, not a good poem but whatever. [/b][/i]
Kikyo Rocks!
Sesh is Hot =P
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| My goodbyes! |
| 07.30.04 (10:32 pm) [edit] |
Haha well I'm not really leaving. I just can't go to Vamp Shadows or Habbo anymore. You know why? I have to go to work day and night now. But I don't care cause I get paid a lot and all I do there is sign paper works or use the computer if your bored. Well yeah I won't be on chats unless my boss is gone.
My boss in habbo [Br.Michaels] asked me for my picture cause every guy in BRM was talking about my picture. So I sent it to him and he was like "HAHA! THAT'S NOT HER!" Lmao I almost fell off my chair when I heard him. He said that girl in the picture [which is me] was some Chinese/Japanese popular model/singer? Lol I just look like her, I think her name is like, umm Naomi? Yeah her, I think that's her name. But anyway, I explained to him that Im a model but he doesn't believe me. So I just sent him some old pictures I got from my now-broken webcam, from my last happy christmas with my ex-bestfriend and my cousin, me and my exbestfriend, and umm more pictures I took some months/years ago.
Well that's all I wanna talk about. Lol oh! I saw my name on Hot Blogs as the 13th some hours ago. I'm gonna check again today, mwahahhaha.
[b]Some Jokes:[/b]
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need
to enter a password.
Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in
"P...E...N...I...S".
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
****PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH****
[b]The other joke:[/b]
If you think life is bad.....
How would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes four minutes to get hard.
Only two minutes to get soft.
You share your box with 5 other guys
But worst of all..
the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother!!!
So cheer up, Your life ain't that bad!!!!
[b]Tell me what you think about my blog by dropping a comment or two![/b]
[b]
Write when it hurts...[/b]
[i]I tried everything to turn the past into a blur. It hurts too much remembering all those forgotten memories. What happened to us? Is love really this cruel? No one understands me, not even myself. I don't know how I feel. I want to run away from all of this, I just wanna break down and cry, I wanna yell out all the pain, I wanna bleed till I'm numb, damn, I just want you to love me. Is it really that hard? Can't you see all the pain when you look in my eyes? I know I know it's too late. Watching you with her made me weaker. Why can't everything just be right? Cause I know I still love you...[/i]
[u]
[b]I'm not sure if that's what I feel...for someone.[/b][/u]
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| Habbo Rocks! |
| 07.29.04 (9:23 pm) [edit] |
Lol me and Kikyo got another job at habbo.
Screw that mafia job, it's so ebil, they didn't give me rights to open doors, but they told me to hrie people. HOW AM I GONNA HIRE PEOPLE IF I CANT OPEN DOORS!
Anyway, were bartenders in this club, go there! It's called Club NV. We got paid on our first day and me and Kikyo decided to go share a room and put all our furnitures there. It's cool, red-gray. But we need more furnitures.
Lol the job was funny at first, cause me and Kikyo didn't know what to do since we were new. And the owner was like "Use your imagination". So I served this guy a drink, en I was like "Here sir, enjoy, USE YOUR IMAGINATION!" Lmao, lol and I got a lover there. Lol, stupid stupid. Okay I gotta go ruin someone's life now!
-I don't see my name on Hot Blogs anymore!! OH WELL!
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| =P Don't worry, be happy! =P |
| 07.27.04 (9:44 pm) [edit] |
Okay here's a poem I made today:
All For You, by Me
A sparkle of my sorrow
Drips in this shattered memory
These broken promises you made
Made my heart bleed eternally
This love is a never ending story
A maze you have to walk through
Silent screams inside my head
I wish you could just be true
Take my hand and don't let go
Make this moment last forever
Taking in all this pain for you
Why can't we just stay together?
[i]I just realize that I suck at writing stories! Hehe, I tried writing stories since I was 11 and here I am 16 and still have no story. Lol. All I'm good at is poems, I think. [/i]
My question: [I got this idea from Rinna! <3]>
[b]What's three things you can't live without?[/b]
[Don't say, oxygen/air or water, cause that's kinda obvious already. Oh, don't just say food, be specific! [i]Ex: For food say, umm, Taco Bell, or something[/i].]
My answer:
1. Boys
2. Chocolates
3. Taco Bell
:D :lol: 8)
[b]THIS IS FOR LIZ ONLY:[/b]
Here's the Link: [Click on it, look at the Address bar and copy it, or just right click+properties+copy url]
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /Liz.gif" title="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /Liz.gif" target="_blank"http://img.photobucket.com/al...
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| =P |
| 07.27.04 (8:08 pm) [edit] |
Okay, I had a contest [chicken or egg?] and it was hard to choose who won. So *DRUM ROLL*
WE GOT A TiE!!
Lol, congratulations, mahabarath and webster!!!
No, you don't have to split the money, I will just give you 500 each.
THANKS TO ALEX! [PlainClothes21] Cause he gave me a lot of tBucks last night!!
I also want to give umm 200 tBucks to RedHandedDenial, just because her answer made me laugh.
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+- +-+-+-+-
Hehe Vlad emailed me ^-^, gosh I miss him so much. Okay, lol. Gahh habbo ish getting boring, oh, I earned the right to unlock doors ^-^ now I can steal or mess up the room, lmao. No I can't, cause, ehh nevermind. Umm the PPD shot didn't hurt, it only took about a second, or half a second. But then, when I started walking out the hospital I started feeling dizzy and all I can see was black dots. So I sat down for a while, and I saw someone I prayed I wouldnt see. But I did see him, and it was weird.....
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RINNA!!!
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| The chicken or the egg? |
| 07.25.04 (11:18 pm) [edit] |
Lol well as always me and Kikyo went to habbo. Haha yay for me I got a job! A mafia job, hehe. The boss is cute :D. I'm a spy 8)!! It's really fun, I got two promotions already. Hehe, anyway, umm, gosh I forgot what I was gonna say. Oh yeah, I HAVE A CONTEST!!
[b]Okay, a lot of people wonder, which came first, the the chicken or the egg? Well, give me your best answer and explain why! If you got the most reasonable answer you will get 500 tBucks from me! [/b]
So, which came first, the chicken or the egg?
PS: [b]YOU CAN'T CHOOSE BOTH OR NONE AT ALL!! YOU HAVE TO PICK THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG!![/b]
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| *Sings* Promises, shattered pieces, memories of nothing... |
| 07.25.04 (1:21 am) [edit] |
[i]"See the truth is you could slit my throat, and with one last gasping breath, I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt."[/i]
Lalalala, I'm effin sleepy. *YAWNS*. Haha there was this new guy in Vamp Shadows, well ehh his a year younger than me, but his fine. Anyways, me and Kikyo went to habbo again, I guess she's not mad at me anymore. Lol. Oh she liked the Kikyo blinky!! Haha! Oh and there was this fire drill at my tower, it was so loud I freaked out. So duh we had to use the stairs to go there, and this firewoman explained blah blah blah. Then when it was done, me and my little brother used to stairs since everybody was using the elevator. Bleh, my legs were sore when I reached 6th floor.
A poem I made:
Untitled, by Me
Running as fast as I can
Leaving my life behind
Trying to live in my sorrow
Holding on but slipping off
Running as fast as I can
Stepping in the darkness
Going inside a deep hole
Climbing out but falling in
Screaming as loud as I can
Tears mixing with mud and rain
Regrets starts to fill my mind
Living a lie but telling the truth
Screaming as loud as I can
Lying down on my grave
My mind dying in confusion
Just because I remembered some forgotten memories...
[b]I know I know, not one of my best poems but yeah. [/b]
Here's for the people that still haven't seen the blinky names:
Kagome:
Code for Kagome: http://img44.photobucket.com/...
Liz:
Code for Liz: http://img44.photobucket.com/...
Okay well that's it, I know my blog is getting boring, I'm just not in the mood of searching for fun stuff right now. Maybe tomorrow, lol.
[b]i WOULD APPRECiATE A COMMENT![/b]
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| Stuff. . . |
| 07.24.04 (12:24 am) [edit] |
Lol, I GOT MY TONGUE PIERCED TODAY!!!Yay for me and Ryan. Lol Ryan got his too. Anyway, me and Ryan keeps saying "My tongue feels really weird", "I can't eat, I'll just starve", and some more.
Well Jake calls me everyday and here's our conversation from just 10 minutes ago:
*TELEPHONE RINGS*
Me: Hello?
Jake: Woah you sound weird
Me: And you sound drunk, I got my tongue pierced you ass.
Jake: Aww man, I missed it, girls with tongue piercings en belly piercings are hot.
Me: Hey that's me.
Jake: I know you sexy little thing.
Me: Omg jake you sound like a big pervert, hahahah.
Jake: I got laid last night.
Me: I didnt have to know that
Jake: Aww I thought you were gonna be jealous.
Me: Not really Mr.
Me: So hows your summer there?
Jake: Okay I guess, lots of hot girls around.
Me: take care okay? i dont want you getting a girl pregnant!
Jake: Yes mother.
Me: OKay gotta go now, my tongue feels really weird from talkin too much now.
Jake: bye sexy, love yah.
*THE END*
Yep yep, gosh I miss him. Lol. Well he's just a friend. Hmm here's some things for my friends =D
For DreamReality:
For BrokenDreams:
For Kagome:
For Kikyo, if she likes it anyway:
For Rinna:
Okay here's the code for those:
For VerVer:
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /VerVer.gif" title="http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /VerVer.gif" target="_blank"http://img44.photobucket.com/...
For Liz:
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /Liz.gif" title="http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /Liz.gif" target="_blank"http://img44.photobucket.com/...
For Kagome:
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /kagome.gif" title="http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /kagome.gif" target="_blank"http://img44.photobucket.com/...
For Kikyo:
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /Kikyo.gif" title="http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /Kikyo.gif" target="_blank"http://img44.photobucket.com/...
For Rin A Rin:
http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /Rin_A_Rin.gif" title="http://img44.photobucket.com/albums/v135/x0x_hEaRt /Rin_A_Rin.gif" target="_blank"http://img44.photobucket.com/...
OKAY IF YOU GUYS WANT TO CHANGE THE COLOR, JUST TELL ME AND I'LL CHANGE IT!
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| My past... |
| 07.23.04 (6:04 pm) [edit] |
Okay well I'm gonna post some stuff I wrote when I was 10-13 years old.
[b]Just move on, by Me [When i was 11][/b]
Sometimes life is so cruel
Leaving you behind
Making you feel the pain
Chorus:
So just let go of what hurts
Don't let it tear you apart
Keep walking, don't look back
Just move on
You feel it linger in your heart
That sadness you never understand
But try to put on a smile
Cause all you have to do is move on.
[b]January 15 1999[/b]
[A part of my journal...]
[i]So this is how it feels to be alone, it sucks. Why do I have to be so stupid that night? Why did I say yes? I got nomore friends, no one to talk to, just me all alone. Everyday I have to go through the same sadness in me, everyday I have to be alone, everyday I hurt myself, and everyday the tears just won't stop. I'm sick and tired of this, why can't they just understand me? But it's too late now, I don't trust them anymore. I bet today my parents will hit and yell at me again, just like every day. I wanna tell my teachers, the police, or anyone. But I can't cause I still love my mom and dad, I don't want them to get in trouble. Oh yeah, my little brother cries everynight, and it's really annoying now. All they care about is him, and not me. I just wanna die, but I can't cause I feel like something is holding me back. Ahh! Dad is home...[/i]
Okay that's just two, I have more but I don't really feel like putting it here.
Oh I know I forgot to add some jokes and stuff, I'm really sorry, maybe tomorrow!
Here's for [b]lilmints[/b], thanks for the banner!
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| Hmmm . . . |
| 07.23.04 (1:32 am) [edit] |
[b]Gosh, just came back from work. I pleaded my boss to let me go home early since I'm drunk and he did. Well I'm in a sad mood, I don't know why. I tried writing a story today, but I just can't, too much stuff was bugging me. . . [/b]
Me and Kikyo went to habbo today. Haha we think this one guy is the one that ruined Brady's blog. Well I tried talking to that guy but he kept avoiding me. Haha, this guy started dancing in front of Kikyo and the three of us became friends. He tried impressing girls by dancing, lol it was funny cause he was trying to impress this goth. But she just ignored him, I think. Then Hiei, Julie, and Logan came so yeah. Me and Kikyo talked about stuff that we haven't talked about. It was kinda surprising cause me and Kik don't usually talk. I get to talk to Squishy too! I missed that boy so damn much. Lol but of course I miss Vlad more :roll: . I wonder what he's doing right now. Well this blog ish getting long again so here's some fun stuff. . .
[b]Lol I think this one is cute and naughty for a wittle kid:[/b]
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"
[b]Lol you guys should go here:
POKE THE PENGUiN!!![/b]
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
[b]Sorry if you think they all suck, I'm not really in a good mood today so yeah. Tomorrow I'll try to post some stuff better than this one! [/b]
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| *Rawr* |
| 07.22.04 (12:26 am) [edit] |
[b]READ THIS, iT SHOWS YOU YOUR PERVERTED LEVEL:[/b]
You are a girl (assume you are a girl if you are a boy)
And it`s your first time.
As you lie back your muscles tighten.
You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you`re afraid and you shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it`s the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he`s gentle like he promised he`d be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells youto trust him-he`s done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an ease entrance.
You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues.
He looks at you concerned and asks you if it`s too painful.
Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on.
He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.
After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over.
He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You then smile and thank our dentist... After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled!
[b]HAHA! WHAT DiD YOU THiNK WAS HAPPENiNG? YOU PERVERT!![/b]
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Haha well I guess today was pretty fun. Kikyo was in a good mood, a hyper mood. Lol wow, I've never seen her so, pervy. Haha. Lol. Steve was there at vamp shadow's too. Well yeah, a lot of stuff happened. Oh yeah I laughed to hard today, my brother was annoying me, he kept singing the "If your happy and you know it" song. After 10 minutes, he kinda messed up on accident and said "If your happy and you know it clap your nose" and he tried clapping his nose, which looks really stupid. Well, out of curiousity, I started trying to clap my nose! Lol, yes pretty impossible! Don't sue me, I was just curious.
DAMNiT PERSON!! CHANGE MiROKU'S BLOG BACK TO THE WAY iT WAS!!
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[b]Jealous Revenge [/b]
A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is angry, She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
The boyfriend yells "No, honey, don't do it." The blond replies "Shut up, you're next."
[b]I LIKE THE LAST ONE BETTER THOUGH[/b]
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| Lalalalalalalala . . . |
| 07.20.04 (11:14 pm) [edit] |
Love is a sensation caused by temptation when a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination which increases the population for the next generation do you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?
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Hewwo =] Well today I didn't have to go to work, so I went to the hospital to get my PPD shots, but they said it's closed every wednesday noon. So oh well, I ended up being in the mall. I spent $15o just on some stuff. Well, it was worth it. Lol. Anyway I don't know what to talk about except, I have a question for the people that used to go to the Dollz Chat.
Do you guys know Perfect Devil? Isn't he Vlad? or Someone else?
Okay cause last night I was just thinking about the guys I flirted with, and I came across Perfect Devil's name. Lol. Obviously, I flirted with him. But that's not the point. I'm just wondering what his real name is or is he Vlad? Cause I went to Gill's blog and I saw "Perfect Devil is so hot", and I remember, oh yeah, she went out with Vlad. So is Perfect Devil, Vlad? Lol.
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[b]Blonde Kidnapper [/b]
A blonde was down on her luck.
In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I’ve kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The blonde pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
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OH MY GOD IM LIKE SO PISSED RIGHT NOW!! GRR!! WHO WAS THAT PERSON IN BRAD'S BLOG?? WAS IT BRAD??GRR JUS BECAUSE HIS DEAD DOESNT MEAN SOMEONE CAN TAKE OVER HIS BLOG!! UGHH!!
PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME ITS BRAD!! I WANT HIM TO STILL BE ALIVE!!! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
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| A Baby's Cry . . . |
| 07.20.04 (1:42 am) [edit] |
I didn't write this poem but I think it's sad. I am anti-abortion from now on.
A Baby's Cry, by Someone.
It's early still, the month is one,
And my life has just begun.
I'm so small, don't have to hide,
I'm but a seed growing inside.
Four weeks later, the month is two,
I'm still small but a part of you.
You'll love me a lot, wait and see,
You'll be proud as proud can be.
Time has passed, the month is three,
Now, I'm someone you can see.
My hair is black, and my eyes are brown,
I'll be fun to have around.
Now, I'm gone, the month is five,
Mommy killed me, I'm no longer alive.
Abortion is the name they gave it,
They take your life before you live it.
I wanted to be born, the month is six,
But it's already done, it can't be fixed.
I guess my mommy didn't love me,
She went and just threw me away.
She'll never forget me,
Forever in her heart is where I'll stay.
I have a new home now, the month is seven,
Congratulations, Mommy,
Guess what, I'm in Heaven.
Mommy still carries around a frown,
Cause I'm in her memory, but not around.
You would have loved me, the month is eight,
But guess what, Mommy, it's too late.
Murdered by my mommy's hand,
I guess I'm too young to understand.
Goodbye, Mommy, the month is nine,
I could've been born, doing just fine.
Although I'm here in Heaven, I still cry,
Because of my mommy, I had to die.
Mommy, mommy, the year is one,
And my life could've just begun.
Mommy now the days have gone by, it's year two,
And I can almost tie my shoe.
Soon, I'll be three,
And you would've been too busy to mess with me.
A long time has passed, and the year is nine,
I would've been happy down there with you all mine.
Now look, Mom, it's year 18,
Oh how the time has passed,
I've become a woman,
And I wouldn't have been able to last.
Well, goodbye Mommy, it's time to go,
I love you, I guess you should know.
Please mommy, don't cry.
But because of mommy I had to die.
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